Why digital cleanup is no fun

I like order, structure, organization. Giving things a place brings me joy. Sparks joy I guess in organizer-guru-speak. And sure, whenever I moved there were always moments of anguish and hopelessness whenever I needed to pack stuff and take it all out. The moment you have lost all of your energy and the physical stuff is all around you on the ground. Been there, done that.

However, for the organized person I am, my own digital archive is not that well-structured at all. At work, I thrive when deciding on a file naming system or cleaning up folders and putting them together. When I look at my own collection of videos, photos and (important?) documents I want to cry.

It is of course a grand paradox that because we now have seemingly infinite space to store stuff, this makes us more careless about how much stuff we create. And of course visuals take up a large part of this ‘overcreation’. Everyone probably has at least one thing that they constantly record, and mine is mostly sports.

I think many sports are some combination of techniques and visuals. And it is great that we have so much visuals to learn from and improve with, but it can also be impeding. I record myself dutifully every session, but I do not tend to look back at it too much. I know I will be focusing on a bent leg or flexed foot. Did that flow got interrupted because of the buffering or is it my movement? It simply does not spark joy for the most part.

Moreover, there is not only the stuff I film myself, I have external platforms that I check or neglect to check. There is a constant feeling of having too much and not making use of its potential. It is the opposite end of the subscription scheme. There is too much stuff we do not own, and too much of the stuff that we do own. Balance is lost.

Instead of limiting ourselves to saving the things we find very important, we are being ruled by the amount of digital space available. Enticed to pay for increased space, which just means a brief respite to look away ant not at all of the stuff that we record. I am only limited by my unwillingness to pay for things, which results in brief outbursts of downloading, deleting and quickly putting things together in one folder so everything else seems to be in order. Eventually I will look at it. Probably not.

Praise for pragmatic fictional characters

Sometimes, I think about how it would be if someone like me would be the main character in a high school anime. Some of the standard highlights, would certainly play out a bit differently I imagine.

Beach episode: I do not really care for the beach. My swimming is quite below average, I wear glasses and cannot really see stuff without them, am bad at ball games which seem to be involved in most beach games. However, I would absolutely kill at the watermelon game. Although I always find it a bit of a waste, since much juice will probably be lost, it is a combination of many things I like. Burst of targeted violence and food. A beach episode would probably just involve getting a few watermelons and a few heads smashed.

Summer festival: although I am capable of wearing long clothes during summer, searing sun beams have made me appreciate extra protection instead of the limited cooling bareness provides, I am not good with clothes that limit my mobility. Although I have excellent mental self-control, my physical self-control is less strict. Especially my legs that preferably have some space between each other, but also to allow me to easily move around on my bike or walk the stairs. The games are also not really my thing. They are either rigged, involve skills I do not have sufficiently or involve too many others around me, especially kids. I do like the food part and the fireworks though, I could easily just fill an episode eating at all the stalls.

Cultural festival: teamwork at a large scale is not really my thing. I would probably do my job, be present, participate and stay in the background.

Sports competition: these really combine two opposites for me, at least when I see them in an anime. On the one hand it is about teamwork, on the other hand it is about winning. I am very much about winning, going all out, amazing everybody. But only if I am good at the thing. The sports I have seen featured in anime often involve a team and hand-eye coordination. Bad combination for me. But the drama created by me not doing my best and being passive-agressive about it, could be entertaining. Possibly.

Valentine’s Day: I do not like baking. I find it a lot of hassle for only part of a meal. I would probably be too nervous to give chocolate anyway if I had a crush, so it would end up being a store-bought bar to a friend or something.

Christmas: as a Dutchie, I am more attached to Saint Nicholas than Santa Claus. However, I do like the idea of a sleigh with reindeer in the air. On the other hand, having KFC or fastfood for Christmas does not attract me too much. Also, the emphasis on romance would probably kill me.

New Year’s Eve and Day: temple visit sounds fun! Praying, fortune telling is always more fun if you only do it on special occasions. Also, I would be dying to have a new year’s dream featured and possible interpretations offered. And of course food and money! A perfect combination.

School trip: I expect to not be late or miss the bus for any of this. I would probably have stuff in my mind that I want to do, see or visit at the destination, but I could be too shy to speak up. That could lead to some nice drama and heightened emotions.

When do you like to do your reading?

Recently, I started to read the Dune books after I watched the second film and found myself sort of falling in love with reading again. This feeling that you do not want to put a book down and cannot wait to read what is going to happen next. As it happened, this renewed reading streak happened right at the start of my holiday, which made any transit or waiting time a bit easier.

It started at the airport, where much waiting was happening. There is no better way to train your concentration then trying to read while there are tons of families keeping their kids happy, airport staff zooming in between with carts and coffee, anouncements on which flights are delayed and all types of chatter about the flight destination and the supposed weather there.

Then, taking a budget flight there was no in-flight entertainment, I read on with my forehead comfortable against the seat in front of me. It even makes you forget the whole agony about placing you arm somewhere if you have the middle seat. It also makes you less susceptible to noticing the flight attendants walking by with all their wares to sell, which is especially necessary when it is edible stuff they have.

Arriving at the destination I was lucky enough to take the train and could read to my heart’s content. Afterwards, there would be more car rides with limited reading time since I get carsick quite easily and we would be in the mountains as well. Also, the space in the train was quite cramped so it mostly, but not entirely prevented my limbs from flailing around too much.

The rest of the time, any waiting time was gladly filled with reading a few pages to the next chapter. After the holiday, I read on the train and also before sleeping, trying to make it part of my more common routine. Sometimes, I feel drained reading so much news or information at work, and delving into a book can really uplift, even if you basically do the same thing. Bonus point, if you do it on your phone, you can also feel slightly better about the reason being glued to your device.

A Taste of News: The ideal number

As many in my direct circle know, I read quite some news. I try to mention at least once per day that I read something in the news, casually, in a conversation. And since commentary and reviewing is something else I like to do, I thought of starting a series where I write my thoughts about an article I read. A lot of them will be related to China, since that is one of the topics I follow most closely.

Three Is Best: How China’s Family Planning Propaganda Has Changed
New York Times

It seems that I am currently entering the phase where children are top of mind. I have been talking a lot about people on my opinion of children, motherhood, family and whatnot. And the Chinese Communist Party is of course also still busy with this topic, trying to get a different result with the same tools as always. This is where you can put that famous quote about this being madness.

As an indirect result of the one-child policy, it has been very interesting to see how little fanfare the reforms have attracted. Even in my head it was still murky when the one-child policy was lifted, but having a feeling that it was in the 2010s. The exact year is 2014, which confirms to me that it happened so much more recent than it feels like.

I think the one-child policy was one crazy, bizarre experiment. Trying to reverse it seems like it is bound to fail. Although nothing is more fun than seeing the Chinese official lines doing a full 180 degrees. Adding a few extra kids to the family statue is top comedy. Seeing old slogans that say it is selfish to have more than one child almost seem they were a few decades to early to anticipate this shift. Seeing new slogans that say a family is incomplete with only one child, emphasizes how empty these words are when there is nothing to back it up. The same counts with state or family support. Right at the time in the Western world that we are almost fully certain the state will be more reliable than family, the Chinese government is calling to bet on the other horse.

At the same time, the absurdity of this propaganda effectively hides a lot of pain. Pain from families that did not have the right amount of children at the right time. The realization that it is not about the people, it is just about the numbers. In a country where millions of people work in factories, construction sites or on the field without any retirement plan and able to see their families twice a year if lucky, this is the situation in which more children are encouraged. In a situation where women are already being heavily underpaid, facing discrimination and sexism in the workplace and have hardly any choice but to become tiger moms so that their children can participate in the rat race that is life, this is the situation in which more children are encouraged.

At the moment, everyone can rest assured in the knowledge that the government will not go as far yet as they used to. And who knows, maybe it will lead to breakthroughs in research on male fertility which has mysteriously declined in recent decades. Maybe it will bring families together if younger people use old propaganda slogans to retort their older family members. Or it could be that the Chinese Communist Party suddenly sees the light and starts to make some systematic changes that will create an environment more conducive to having bigger families.

There is already enough weight put on the decision to get children. Without having to consider a government that may fine, applaud or demonize you, especially if they want a different answer from you ever so often. And what is maddening is that the traces will be removed. Your memory shall not exist, until it is convenient for the Communist Party. It is very selfish and egocentric behavior, just like you would expect from an only child.

When you try to make cleaning easier

Sitting in my kitchen, I can hear the robot vacuuming and mopping upstairs. Although vacuuming is not a chore I particularly dislike, it is convenient to think that it can be done when you are not at home.

As one of the older millennials, I feel like I still hold on to some pride to do things without too much technology involved. Smart technology only makes me suspicious. I do not need a smart fridge, a smart coffee machine or a smart rice cooker. The Google Home in my house has been off and disconnected from electricity since its entrance. I think the only thing about smart technology that I read about, is the fact that they tend to record way more information then necessary. We already live without curtains, no further transparency is needed.

But a vacuum robot seems weirdly benign. As a word, robot conjures more old-school images of machines that buzz and blink when you turn them on. Humans are in full control, the machine is not meant to think along but merely follow orders or a program. And sure, any simple machine these days involves an app which opens it up again to much more information than it probably needs. But that big bad company seems far away and the robot certainly cannot make use of any information that is on my phone. And seeing the cleaning lines on the map appear almost fully equally spaced is very satifying.

At the same time, I mainly like the convenience of the robot because I usually do not turn it on myself. Having someone else takes care of the whole process, makes it all even more seamless and automatic. Alas, I am on my own again for a couple of weeks and thought I should not need to resort to old school vacuuming.

So I took the robot from its docking station, wetted the mop as expected, checked its water and sent it of on its cleaning journey. I fiddled with the necessary map I needed to put it on, then I thought I had put everything away but somehow the robot really wanted to have a hangout session with our drying rack. All in all, it took some time before everything was right as it should be and the cleaning lines started appearing on the map.

The old adagio is still true. Everything is automated but nothing happens automatically. Well, at least not when I am by myself.

A Taste of News: Save the donkeys

Africa’s Donkeys Are Coveted by China. Can the Continent Protect Them?
New York Times

I am a big fan of donkeys. When I was little, we would go on ‘donkey holidays’ which meant spending two weeks hiking through France with some donkeys to carry our luggage. At that time I was still small enough to also be allowed to ride the donkeys from time to time.

Unsurprisingly I was a horse girl during middle and high school, but donkeys have a different atmosphere. Their big ears, small hoofs and stumbling gait endears them in a way that is distinctly different from horses. It also helps that they are pack animal and you will most often see them with an inordinate amount of stuff on their backs while seemingly carrying it without any complaining.

Thus, it really surprised me to read that donkeys are an ingredient used in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Generally, I have heard more about the exotic things they need to heal anything wrong with the body. From deer antlers to pangolin scales, let alone the range of plants that could be needed.

Similar to many other TCM ingredients that are touted as absolutely vital to heal certain ailments, it is interesting to think how much these consist of ‘standard’ natural materials such as keratin and collagen. I have bitten my nails for decades, I am not sure if that made me much healthier than I would have been otherwise.

What really suprised me, was the fact that donkeys cannot reproduce or breed easily. This sent me on a quick Google search, which after the decently informative but slightly too activist Donkey Sanctuary website, led me to the American Association of Equine Practicers website which states in its opening paragraph “Donkey medicine can be fun and rewarding and a break from routine equine practice.”

My two main random fun facts on donkey reproduction that I learned were the following. A female donkey is called a Jenny, a male is called a Jack or jackass. It would be quite funny to do this in Dutch as well. That we do not only talk about Jut and Jul as the standard Dutch people, but that they also refer to a bull and cow? What fun!

Donkeys are pregnant for a long, long, long time. Between 372-374 days. In my ears, having heard plenty of pregnancy tales in the past years, that sounds terrible. More than a year in this state, is awful. No wonder donkeys do not breed that easily. No fun, but it is a fun fact.

What is it with people liking plants?

Okay, I accept that walking in the forest, on a grassy mountain or at a sandy beach feels great. The sun on your face, wind through your hairs and fresh air in your lungs. But what I have never really understood, is why people insist on trying to bring it inside the house.

When I was small, my parents tried to ensure I would be a devoted garden girl. It failed miserably. I dutifully pulled out weeds and tore grasses from in between tiles and watered some greenery. But after getting one plant and having it die on me within 2 months, I was away for 2 weeks and nobody watered it for me, I quickly decided this was way too high maintenance for me.

Since then, I have never had any plants in my house. I remember clearly that a few years ago my mom gave me a plant, which slightly offended me even as if she did not know I would never want such a thing, before I realized it was fake to my huge relief. I lived a blissful life without any plants in the house, up ’till a few years ago.

My current partner likes plants. He even rescued a plant from my former roommate whose plants were sort of perpetually dying. He gets happy when his flowers bloom, new roots grow and trims his plants lovingly. And he tries to sneak in more plants if I let down my guard. Luckily, I am always on high alert.

When he was on holiday for a month last year, I needed to actively remind myself that the plants needed water. It was quite the stress. Also, we now sometimes have annoying flies in the house, although that is good to train my motor skills I guess.

Moving to our new place last year, we even got some plants from friends. Where I would normally have to donate these to my parents or bring them to a plant shelter, they could actually get spot somewhere in our new home. All in all, I am not complaining and I know it is a luxury that I can be surrounded by plants without having to do something for it. But watering the plants spontaneously? I am not a plant mom.

Film rewriting: Maboroshi

Mari Okada can pull some heartstrings. The last film I watched of hers (Maquia: When the Promised Flower blooms) is a feast for the eyes and had me bawling them out half of the time. I think its sadness is up there with Grave of the Fireflies and that episode of Violet Evergarden. Regardless, she tends to have an interesting and quite unique way of viewing things and putting it together so I was quite excited to watch this one of hers.

The synopsis of the film on imdb is:

“Following an explosion at a factory that mysteriously freezes a town in time, two students encounter a mysterious feral child, spurring an impulse of love fueled by the frustration of their daily lives that begins to upend their world.”

I also read another review that was quite positive about it, and although I like the concept and ideas, parts of the execution fell flat for me. I think the despair and dread of being frozen in a particular moment and how different people react to it is depicted well. I also think she shows interesting choices some characters make to change the present based on how they think there will or will not be an ‘actual’ future to look forward to. And upping the stakes by creating a way for characters to disappear is always a surefire way to create some intense moments. But there are some other things I think could have been left out or executed differently.

I feel the orignal mystery about the factory causing the town to freeze in time could be explored further. As it stands now, this is just a fact and everyone accepts it, although clearly some characters have more whacky ideas about why it happened than others. Besides discovering the ‘feral child’ at the factory, the characters do not spend a lot of time uncovering anything about the explosion, where the smoke comes from, why it happened to them. Even if this was just a fully random thing happening to them, that would be interesting to explore and see if it throws some characters further into despair. As it is, the visuals are very striking but I am left wanting more information.
The romance seems to not get enough room to be fully fleshed out. It is a very interesting concept to know that somewhere else you are leading your own future life but you will never get to experience it in your own reality. However, I felt the connection between the two main characters was disturbed in an unfulfilling manner because they get shoehorned in a weird love triangle. One that also has a bit too much of an incestual tone for my taste.
We do not see a lot of the side characters except for short bursts that show pivotal moments but because they are not shown in many other situations, it is not as meaningful as it could have been. If we would see more glimpses of these characters’ past, hopes and dreams then it would hit a lot harder to see some of the arbitrary decisions being made or sympathize more with their feelings

All in all, the film did hit quite some spots but it was not as gut-wrenching as I expected it to be. The concepts and perspectives that were shown are still quite powerful, but the execution left a bit to be desired.

A Taste of News: Fearing the family

AI Game Mimicking Nosy Relatives Takes China by Storm
Sixth Tone

Lunar New Year took place last weekend. Happy year of the dragon! May you prosper! The gods will bring you luck and happiness. Which of course means a stable job, a spacious house and a lovely family.

Festivities make for special times. I can immediately recall which time was the most memorable of all the New Years spent in China, but today we are not talking about that. This news article was recommended to me on Facebook, one of the few organizations I still follow on the platform, and had an extraordinarily high number of likes. Unsurprisingly. I think Chinese New Year is most well-known for a few things: the great number of people that move around the country (the infamous greatest migration worldwide), the great number of dishes you will consume during the holiday and the great number of annoying questions your relatives will unrelentlessly pound you with.

I think this is one of the cases where you cannot win, unless you are young and only need to collect money from a red envelope. If you are a student, you need to get good grades and find a partner timely (but big minus points if it seems you are sleeping around or dating multiple people, that is not proper behavior), if you have started your first job you should not argue with your boss and find a partner timely, if you have a partner you should buy a house and get a kid, if you have a partner and a house and a kid you should make sure it is well-behaved and getting good grades. In other words, the comments are endless. And this game must be difficult, excruciatingly so.

Because there are somewhat extraordinary pressures on Chinese returning for the new year to their families, it is no wonder that it is an endless source of different societal behaviors that may be more or less true on a larger scale. Children hiring partners online to take home has been a big story for a couple of years, children not going home is starting to become a bigger story to emphasize individualism and assertiveness, traditional costumes being replaced by cheap uniformity bought online. I am surprised I am not reading more about certain foods being replaced but I guess that is the thing most people probably can agree on to keep as traditional as possible.

I always find it fascinating when people seem to be more concerned with how things should be, than why things are a certain way. And what I think the screenshots of this game show very well, is that it is always indirect. This is the network of guanxi at a microscale. Everybody represents someone else, besides themselves. It is not only about their own hopes, but the sense of responsibility they feel towards other family members to put somebody on the spot.

Although I doubt this game will be played by those who would benefit the most from some self-reflection, perhaps it can serve as a practice to those who need to submit to this ritual every year. Maybe you find some new appreciation for your actual family members. Or discover that they are even worse than AI could imagine.

Film rewriting: The Boy and the Heron

Ghibli films are among my favorites. I think that tends to be quite the favorable opinion, but I remember when I watched Spirited Away at 16 being utterly amazed at the perfect combination of story, folklore, visuals and atmosphere. And finding out afterwards that this was not just contained in a single film, but ranged further across their productions was marvelous. It was like all of my enthusiasm that I never really had for the Disney classics (I refused watching Lion King more than once since I found it too scarring) suddenly came out at a belated moment for the Ghibli universe.

With animation being less and less put in the children’s corner, it seems that almost everyone was excited for this new Ghibli release by master Hayao Miyazaki. Hardly any news emerged before its actual realization although it seemed to combine many familiar elements often founded in Ghibli and Miyazaki films. A headstrong main character that is slightly egocentric but earnest, peculiar magical creatures that seem to be as helpful as they are antagonistic, competent and capable side characters that teach the main character important lessons. And most importantly, beautiful visuals and fantastical landscapes.

On imdb the synopsis of the film is:

“A young boy named Mahito yearning for his mother ventures into a world shared by the living and the dead. There, death comes to an end, and life finds a new beginning.”

I was quite excited to go into the film since it should be a wonderful time. But I came out of the theater feeling a little bit empty. It was not entirely up to the standards that I felt they set before. Especially for a Miyazaki. And of course all the reviews I scrolled pas were jubilant about the film. I did still really enjoy it, but I also saw some missed opportunities.

I found the family dynamic somewhat lacking. Although I think all characters were well-defined in their own rights, I feel there was not enough attention paid to them through the main arc. The father starts as a very direct personality who is very jovial but also slightly manipulative. I thought there would be a moment where he realized how his behavior influences his son, especially at such a vulnerable moment after losing his mother and moving to a new place, but it seems like he is not going through any kind of realization even when his son and second wife fully disappear.

Mahito’s ‘new’ mother also does not really have any development to her story. Although she is in a way the catalyst for everything that happens, she is oddly passive in the whole process and does not seem to have changed at any moment. When we first see her, she is very actively trying to show Mahito, the main guy, that she will be a good mother to him. Her depression is also not unimaginable since she is pregnant and turns out to not be able to prevent Mahito from getting hurt. But after he finds her in the dream world, there does not seem to be a clear reason for her to suddenly want to return.

Lastly, the main character Mahito’s conflict is also not resolved very satisfyingly. His reasoning is not made very clear, why does he suddenly think of his father’s new wife as his mother? Why does meeting his mother in the dream world not shake him more or implore him to further explore his relationship with her? How does he decide to make connections with his environment and what influence does moving away again at the end have on his mental well-being? There are just a lot of aspects that go a little bit too unexplored for my taste.
Why do the important side characters not get further fleshed out? There are a few important side characters that all suddenly appear and then disappear again. First, there is of course the Heron. The visual is very striking, especially at the beginning where the man in the costume is not fully revealing himself yet. But it remained unclear to me exactly what role he played and what his motivations were. He seems to be in the service of the tower master, but at the same time he makes his own decisions throughout the film. He is a magical creature, but does not lose his magic in the real world. He accompanies Mahito on part of the way, but it seems unclear why he is not there for the full way.

Then there is Etsuko, the old maiden whose younger self Mahito meets in the dream world. She is such an interesting character that seems very underused. At the beginning, the maidens are not very explicitly introduced which is not that problematic, but would have given them some more weight instead of just seeming comic relief. Etsuko does get some extra screentime to showcase her warm grumpiness and bartering personality. In the dream world she is a strong and independent woman, taking care of others, but she does not really seem to teach Mahito any lessons, except for letting him do some harder labor. It would have been nice to also see some more interactions between Etsuko and the other creatures or Himi who she seems to revere. It is fine to not know her full backstory, but her actions do not show us much beyond her capabilities and generally there tends to be more of an emotional aspect to interactions with these characters.

Himi also seems surprisingly twodimensional as Mahito’s younger mother. It is especially a missed opportunity to not have her reminisce about her younger sister, Mahito’s new mother, with her suddenly being in the world and what it means. When she sends Mahito off to actually meet his new mother in the world, her saying she cannot go in seems more than a copout than an actual inability. And even if she seems to know the future and says she does not mind dying because she will be so happy with Mahito, there is not a lot of showing of this love she has for him. Her role as a bargaining chip also feels a bit flat since this conflict is not very well fleshed out.

The tower master is a confusing figure since he seems to be a typical antagonistic character, but then remains invisible for most of the film. Judging by the fact that he is in a sense at the core of everything, I would have expected to see more of his behavior, musing about the tower and power, plotting more to get Mahito to certain places or do specific things. His quest for a heir seems to come out of nowhere, as does his fight with another group of creatures. His whole purpose and background is just very vague, which makes it difficult to feel anything but confusion when he is on the screen.
Although it is beautifully rendered, the dream world made me very confused. I get the idea that it is supposed to be an in-between realm merging the living and the dead, but there are basically no rules set at all which makes it difficult to get a grasp on things. New creatures with their own motivations and settings appear all the time, but they seem to be separate vignettes instead of forming a coherent backdrop for the story. Since the storyline is also not very linear, this makes it seem gamelike in a certain way where you are just shown a different world and discussing it, all the while wondering how you will accomplish your quest.

Although there are a lot of points mentioned above that I found unsatisfying, that is not to say I did not like it. Ghibli is still one of the best if it is about immersion. The characters, even if they may fall flat sometimes, still captivate your attention and I did not feel a second of boredom. However, I came out feeling more confused than expected and surprised that my expectations were not fully met. And that is just a shame, but I will still be looking forward to the next Ghibli film, and otherwise there is enough in their backcatalog to not make me complain.