Li Learns Programming: September

Doing something I’m not good at is the worst.

This is the second time I’m diving into programming more seriously. As a recovering perfectionist, I generally avoid doing things that I don’t feel an immediate affinity for. Of course I enjoy a challenge, but I’d rather have it with the prospect of becoming somewhat decent at it relatively quickly.

Enter coding, it’s a particular curiosity of mine that relates to matters that interest me as someone with a humanities background. Design, behaviors, analysis, interaction, language, it has it all. But it doesn’t have it in a way that’s very accessible to me.

On my first foray into coding, focusing on web design, I was surprised at how foreign its language seemed to me. There were new terms like booleans and existing terms being used differently like arguments and. Sentences that seemed like plain English suddenly seemed unintelligible. I don’t think I’ve really tried something else where I felt that out of water before. Even more so because I didn’t improve quickly or seemingly, at all.

My interest in coding coincided with my first job at a company where I directly worked with software developers and engineers. Before, my interaction with IT hadn’t gone further than the resident IT guy, who mainly sent out emails warning about phishing and walked around advising to restart devices when they malfunctioned. IT seemed like a grey world of zeroes and ones, quite necessary but utterly devoid of any creativity.

However, joining a small company with a sizable amount of developers on its staff, brought me much closer to the source. It provided an actual look into what could be accomplished with programming and how mystical it appeared to me. Meetings were filled with wondrous names that had equally wondrous promises. And although I didn’t really understood it, others did and even got very enthusiastic about it. It got me very interested, but also very furstrated when I realized how different programming and developing works as a process of creations.

I like to think of myself as a creative person. But there’s a certain straightforwardness that I like to have in its process. I’m not an idea machine, my imagination works best when prompted (come at me ChatGPT) and if directed at something conrete. I want things to be concrete, almost tactile if possible. Being able to see the process, but also have an idea how that will lead to the desired result. Words on a page, threads on a loom, moves in a choreography. But I remember when I was introduced to the world of html markup, it seemed like such a big jump to go from <h1></h1> to an actual header. It still boggles my mind that programming just works like that. You write a few things, and then it suddenly works automatically.

I still have the feeling this time that there’s so much happening behind the curtains that I don’t grasp. It feels eerily like learning a language without knowing its grammar and just delving into vocabulary. It can work, but it’s definitely not how I learn best or without the least frustration. It’s an itchy lump that I feel somewhere around my diaphragm when I stare at a black screen that need to be filled with words that will get me to a result that I have difficulty imagining. But when it works, it is very fulfilling. It’s sometimes more fulfilling than my regular learning process, because I struggle so much. And that’s why I want to continue with it. For now.

Why digital cleanup is no fun

I like order, structure, organization. Giving things a place brings me joy. Sparks joy I guess in organizer-guru-speak. And sure, whenever I moved there were always moments of anguish and hopelessness whenever I needed to pack stuff and take it all out. The moment you have lost all of your energy and the physical stuff is all around you on the ground. Been there, done that.

However, for the organized person I am, my own digital archive is not that well-structured at all. At work, I thrive when deciding on a file naming system or cleaning up folders and putting them together. When I look at my own collection of videos, photos and (important?) documents I want to cry.

It is of course a grand paradox that because we now have seemingly infinite space to store stuff, this makes us more careless about how much stuff we create. And of course visuals take up a large part of this ‘overcreation’. Everyone probably has at least one thing that they constantly record, and mine is mostly sports.

I think many sports are some combination of techniques and visuals. And it is great that we have so much visuals to learn from and improve with, but it can also be impeding. I record myself dutifully every session, but I do not tend to look back at it too much. I know I will be focusing on a bent leg or flexed foot. Did that flow got interrupted because of the buffering or is it my movement? It simply does not spark joy for the most part.

Moreover, there is not only the stuff I film myself, I have external platforms that I check or neglect to check. There is a constant feeling of having too much and not making use of its potential. It is the opposite end of the subscription scheme. There is too much stuff we do not own, and too much of the stuff that we do own. Balance is lost.

Instead of limiting ourselves to saving the things we find very important, we are being ruled by the amount of digital space available. Enticed to pay for increased space, which just means a brief respite to look away ant not at all of the stuff that we record. I am only limited by my unwillingness to pay for things, which results in brief outbursts of downloading, deleting and quickly putting things together in one folder so everything else seems to be in order. Eventually I will look at it. Probably not.

Praise for pragmatic fictional characters

Sometimes, I think about how it would be if someone like me would be the main character in a high school anime. Some of the standard highlights, would certainly play out a bit differently I imagine.

Beach episode: I do not really care for the beach. My swimming is quite below average, I wear glasses and cannot really see stuff without them, am bad at ball games which seem to be involved in most beach games. However, I would absolutely kill at the watermelon game. Although I always find it a bit of a waste, since much juice will probably be lost, it is a combination of many things I like. Burst of targeted violence and food. A beach episode would probably just involve getting a few watermelons and a few heads smashed.

Summer festival: although I am capable of wearing long clothes during summer, searing sun beams have made me appreciate extra protection instead of the limited cooling bareness provides, I am not good with clothes that limit my mobility. Although I have excellent mental self-control, my physical self-control is less strict. Especially my legs that preferably have some space between each other, but also to allow me to easily move around on my bike or walk the stairs. The games are also not really my thing. They are either rigged, involve skills I do not have sufficiently or involve too many others around me, especially kids. I do like the food part and the fireworks though, I could easily just fill an episode eating at all the stalls.

Cultural festival: teamwork at a large scale is not really my thing. I would probably do my job, be present, participate and stay in the background.

Sports competition: these really combine two opposites for me, at least when I see them in an anime. On the one hand it is about teamwork, on the other hand it is about winning. I am very much about winning, going all out, amazing everybody. But only if I am good at the thing. The sports I have seen featured in anime often involve a team and hand-eye coordination. Bad combination for me. But the drama created by me not doing my best and being passive-agressive about it, could be entertaining. Possibly.

Valentine’s Day: I do not like baking. I find it a lot of hassle for only part of a meal. I would probably be too nervous to give chocolate anyway if I had a crush, so it would end up being a store-bought bar to a friend or something.

Christmas: as a Dutchie, I am more attached to Saint Nicholas than Santa Claus. However, I do like the idea of a sleigh with reindeer in the air. On the other hand, having KFC or fastfood for Christmas does not attract me too much. Also, the emphasis on romance would probably kill me.

New Year’s Eve and Day: temple visit sounds fun! Praying, fortune telling is always more fun if you only do it on special occasions. Also, I would be dying to have a new year’s dream featured and possible interpretations offered. And of course food and money! A perfect combination.

School trip: I expect to not be late or miss the bus for any of this. I would probably have stuff in my mind that I want to do, see or visit at the destination, but I could be too shy to speak up. That could lead to some nice drama and heightened emotions.

When do you like to do your reading?

Recently, I started to read the Dune books after I watched the second film and found myself sort of falling in love with reading again. This feeling that you do not want to put a book down and cannot wait to read what is going to happen next. As it happened, this renewed reading streak happened right at the start of my holiday, which made any transit or waiting time a bit easier.

It started at the airport, where much waiting was happening. There is no better way to train your concentration then trying to read while there are tons of families keeping their kids happy, airport staff zooming in between with carts and coffee, anouncements on which flights are delayed and all types of chatter about the flight destination and the supposed weather there.

Then, taking a budget flight there was no in-flight entertainment, I read on with my forehead comfortable against the seat in front of me. It even makes you forget the whole agony about placing you arm somewhere if you have the middle seat. It also makes you less susceptible to noticing the flight attendants walking by with all their wares to sell, which is especially necessary when it is edible stuff they have.

Arriving at the destination I was lucky enough to take the train and could read to my heart’s content. Afterwards, there would be more car rides with limited reading time since I get carsick quite easily and we would be in the mountains as well. Also, the space in the train was quite cramped so it mostly, but not entirely prevented my limbs from flailing around too much.

The rest of the time, any waiting time was gladly filled with reading a few pages to the next chapter. After the holiday, I read on the train and also before sleeping, trying to make it part of my more common routine. Sometimes, I feel drained reading so much news or information at work, and delving into a book can really uplift, even if you basically do the same thing. Bonus point, if you do it on your phone, you can also feel slightly better about the reason being glued to your device.

When you try to make cleaning easier

Sitting in my kitchen, I can hear the robot vacuuming and mopping upstairs. Although vacuuming is not a chore I particularly dislike, it is convenient to think that it can be done when you are not at home.

As one of the older millennials, I feel like I still hold on to some pride to do things without too much technology involved. Smart technology only makes me suspicious. I do not need a smart fridge, a smart coffee machine or a smart rice cooker. The Google Home in my house has been off and disconnected from electricity since its entrance. I think the only thing about smart technology that I read about, is the fact that they tend to record way more information then necessary. We already live without curtains, no further transparency is needed.

But a vacuum robot seems weirdly benign. As a word, robot conjures more old-school images of machines that buzz and blink when you turn them on. Humans are in full control, the machine is not meant to think along but merely follow orders or a program. And sure, any simple machine these days involves an app which opens it up again to much more information than it probably needs. But that big bad company seems far away and the robot certainly cannot make use of any information that is on my phone. And seeing the cleaning lines on the map appear almost fully equally spaced is very satifying.

At the same time, I mainly like the convenience of the robot because I usually do not turn it on myself. Having someone else takes care of the whole process, makes it all even more seamless and automatic. Alas, I am on my own again for a couple of weeks and thought I should not need to resort to old school vacuuming.

So I took the robot from its docking station, wetted the mop as expected, checked its water and sent it of on its cleaning journey. I fiddled with the necessary map I needed to put it on, then I thought I had put everything away but somehow the robot really wanted to have a hangout session with our drying rack. All in all, it took some time before everything was right as it should be and the cleaning lines started appearing on the map.

The old adagio is still true. Everything is automated but nothing happens automatically. Well, at least not when I am by myself.

A Taste of News: Save the donkeys

As many in my direct circle know, I read quite some news. I try to mention at least once per day that I read something in the news, casually, in a conversation. And since commentary and reviewing is something else I like to do, I thought of starting a series where I write my thoughts about an article I read. A lot of them will be related to China, since that is one of the topics I follow most closely.

Africa’s Donkeys Are Coveted by China. Can the Continent Protect Them?
New York Times

I am a big fan of donkeys. When I was little, we would go on ‘donkey holidays’ which meant spending two weeks hiking through France with some donkeys to carry our luggage. At that time I was still small enough to also be allowed to ride the donkeys from time to time.

Unsurprisingly I was a horse girl during middle and high school, but donkeys have a different atmosphere. Their big ears, small hoofs and stumbling gait endears them in a way that is distinctly different from horses. It also helps that they are pack animal and you will most often see them with an inordinate amount of stuff on their backs while seemingly carrying it without any complaining.

Thus, it really surprised me to read that donkeys are an ingredient used in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Generally, I have heard more about the exotic things they need to heal anything wrong with the body. From deer antlers to pangolin scales, let alone the range of plants that could be needed.

Similar to many other TCM ingredients that are touted as absolutely vital to heal certain ailments, it is interesting to think how much these consist of ‘standard’ natural materials such as keratin and collagen. I have bitten my nails for decades, I am not sure if that made me much healthier than I would have been otherwise.

What really suprised me, was the fact that donkeys cannot reproduce or breed easily. This sent me on a quick Google search, which after the decently informative but slightly too activist Donkey Sanctuary website, led me to the American Association of Equine Practicers website which states in its opening paragraph “Donkey medicine can be fun and rewarding and a break from routine equine practice.”

My two main random fun facts on donkey reproduction that I learned were the following. A female donkey is called a Jenny, a male is called a Jack or jackass. It would be quite funny to do this in Dutch as well. That we do not only talk about Jut and Jul as the standard Dutch people, but that they also refer to a bull and cow? What fun!

Donkeys are pregnant for a long, long, long time. Between 372-374 days. In my ears, having heard plenty of pregnancy tales in the past years, that sounds terrible. More than a year in this state, is awful. No wonder donkeys do not breed that easily. No fun, but it is a fun fact.

What is it with people liking plants?

Okay, I accept that walking in the forest, on a grassy mountain or at a sandy beach feels great. The sun on your face, wind through your hairs and fresh air in your lungs. But what I have never really understood, is why people insist on trying to bring it inside the house.

When I was small, my parents tried to ensure I would be a devoted garden girl. It failed miserably. I dutifully pulled out weeds and tore grasses from in between tiles and watered some greenery. But after getting one plant and having it die on me within 2 months, I was away for 2 weeks and nobody watered it for me, I quickly decided this was way too high maintenance for me.

Since then, I have never had any plants in my house. I remember clearly that a few years ago my mom gave me a plant, which slightly offended me even as if she did not know I would never want such a thing, before I realized it was fake to my huge relief. I lived a blissful life without any plants in the house, up ’till a few years ago.

My current partner likes plants. He even rescued a plant from my former roommate whose plants were sort of perpetually dying. He gets happy when his flowers bloom, new roots grow and trims his plants lovingly. And he tries to sneak in more plants if I let down my guard. Luckily, I am always on high alert.

When he was on holiday for a month last year, I needed to actively remind myself that the plants needed water. It was quite the stress. Also, we now sometimes have annoying flies in the house, although that is good to train my motor skills I guess.

Moving to our new place last year, we even got some plants from friends. Where I would normally have to donate these to my parents or bring them to a plant shelter, they could actually get spot somewhere in our new home. All in all, I am not complaining and I know it is a luxury that I can be surrounded by plants without having to do something for it. But watering the plants spontaneously? I am not a plant mom.

A Taste of News: Fearing the family

AI Game Mimicking Nosy Relatives Takes China by Storm
Sixth Tone

Lunar New Year took place last weekend. Happy year of the dragon! May you prosper! The gods will bring you luck and happiness. Which of course means a stable job, a spacious house and a lovely family.

Festivities make for special times. I can immediately recall which time was the most memorable of all the New Years spent in China, but today we are not talking about that. This news article was recommended to me on Facebook, one of the few organizations I still follow on the platform, and had an extraordinarily high number of likes. Unsurprisingly. I think Chinese New Year is most well-known for a few things: the great number of people that move around the country (the infamous greatest migration worldwide), the great number of dishes you will consume during the holiday and the great number of annoying questions your relatives will unrelentlessly pound you with.

I think this is one of the cases where you cannot win, unless you are young and only need to collect money from a red envelope. If you are a student, you need to get good grades and find a partner timely (but big minus points if it seems you are sleeping around or dating multiple people, that is not proper behavior), if you have started your first job you should not argue with your boss and find a partner timely, if you have a partner you should buy a house and get a kid, if you have a partner and a house and a kid you should make sure it is well-behaved and getting good grades. In other words, the comments are endless. And this game must be difficult, excruciatingly so.

Because there are somewhat extraordinary pressures on Chinese returning for the new year to their families, it is no wonder that it is an endless source of different societal behaviors that may be more or less true on a larger scale. Children hiring partners online to take home has been a big story for a couple of years, children not going home is starting to become a bigger story to emphasize individualism and assertiveness, traditional costumes being replaced by cheap uniformity bought online. I am surprised I am not reading more about certain foods being replaced but I guess that is the thing most people probably can agree on to keep as traditional as possible.

I always find it fascinating when people seem to be more concerned with how things should be, than why things are a certain way. And what I think the screenshots of this game show very well, is that it is always indirect. This is the network of guanxi at a microscale. Everybody represents someone else, besides themselves. It is not only about their own hopes, but the sense of responsibility they feel towards other family members to put somebody on the spot.

Although I doubt this game will be played by those who would benefit the most from some self-reflection, perhaps it can serve as a practice to those who need to submit to this ritual every year. Maybe you find some new appreciation for your actual family members. Or discover that they are even worse than AI could imagine.

A Taste of News: Rocking that wall

Rock Climbing Gains Traction as After-Work ‘Meditation on a Wall’
Sixth Tone

I like mountains. Living in the Netherlands, I feel the lack of mountains has increased my need for height. At the same time, it sometimes seems that bouldering and climbing both exploded in popularity the last few years.

When I was still swiping on the dating app, the algorithm seemed to discover fairly quickly that it should show me some sporty guys. As a result, almost every other guy was either an avid skiing fan or a bouldering champion. In real life, the balance seems to be quite different, although my current partner also boulders.

For the Chinese, it is almost surprising that the sport is only now catching on. Bouldering and climbing seem quite adjacent to martial arts disciplines. It reminds me of Shaolin monks who could probably (not really) scale boulders and mountains without any problems. Unsurprisingly, the article mentions that practitioners do find the sport quite meditative.

Another thing that surprises me in the popularity of bouldering is that it is not very competitive. Although this is a broad generalization, my memories of doing sports in China is that you are pushed to do something to become good at it and so that you can then win. I guess the lack of competition makes it a good antidote for the rat race that is modern society.

Moreover, the article mentions that climbing is also becoming more popular. With all the empty flats and skyscrapers, I guess there should be a good opportunity to turn those locations into climbing gyms. It is at least slightly safer than turning them into bungee jumping attractions.

An ode to biking

Having Chinese heritage and grown up in the Netherlands, I feel my love for biking is coming through both nature and nurture. Even though I complain plenty about biking when visiting other places, since the bikes are not always top-quality but neither are all 4 that I have standing here, it is one of the best ways to move quickly and see more without tiring too much.

As the 15-minute city concept is winning in popularity, and as an unofficial reviewer of things, I thought I would reflect on the places I have biked and rank them. Since I do mostly bike in the city, if we go outdoors I would prefer my feet or a horse.

Beijing, China

Overall: a good place to bike if you want to care minimally about rules and safety, like to shout at people and try to bike on highways.

Pro: Beijing always felt a bit lawless, even though it is the center of power. I remember shouting at everyone on the road because: point A, there are a lot of vehicles on the bike lanes like electric carts, scooters, steps, hooverboards, cars and buses that may or may not belong there; point B, using Dutch curses or comments really grabs attention since it is unexpected for the Chinese.

The city has a very clear gridlike layout which makes it easy for biking since there are a lot of straight roads and wide boulevards. It is also a great way to try how close you want to bike next to cars or other faster-moving traffic. And it often moves quicker than many public transport options, which are especially crowded during peak hours and often make you walk more than you expect.

Con: Beijing traffic can be entertaining, but also annoying and slightly too dangerous. The amounts of times I biked past a car and was almost hit by a door was too high for comfort. There are also way too many traffic lights, because the grid creates a million moments when you will need to cross. In the old center around the Forbidden City with the small alleyways, hutongs for those in the know, can be a maze to find your way through and when a car comes, because why would they not be driving through these very narrow alleys, you are basically blocked from continuing your way.

And lastly, you may not be surprised to hear that many accidents happen and you are quite vulnerable on a bike. I have had many colleagues getting hurt (whereas I was the only one getting somebody else hurt on my bike but that is a story for another time) and you see many reckless delivery drivers trying to do their job (a.k.a. moving stuff as quickly from one place to another) which often seems to involve trying to go through you.

London, Great Britain

Overall: if your mind is not entirely consumed by the fact that you need to ride on the opposite side of the road, you can do some nice biking.

Pro: there is a public bike system in London, which I always encourage. Even though there are some height differences, these are not too big to be of any inconvenience with a limited-quality bike. There generally tend to be bike lanes which are mostly only occupied by bikes.

Con: why oh why did these people decide to ride on the other side of the road?! I do not think I will ever be able to wrap my mind around it. If you go straight, no problem, but you do need to curve eventually one way or the other. Also, bikes are not that common yet so it does feel like a car can creep up on you at any moment.

Aalborg, Denmark

Overall: it is definitely a bike-centered place and offers some nice routes throughout the city.

Pro: Denmark is probably one of the most well-known countries for its biking culture besides the other Scandinavian countries and the Netherlands. Of course this means that I am extra strict on its biking facilities since I think the biking culture is one of the few things the Netherlands really has going for it.

Biking in Aalborg this summer, I think it was quite comparable to biking in a Dutch city. Bike lanes aplenty, bikes aplenty, nice bike routes and wide boulevards where you can bike and walk next to each other (still a concept I am not convinced of). The main difference was that most people wore helmets (a concept I am more convinced of).

Con: I was surprised how many cars still were riding through the city with bike lanes on the side. I feel in most Dutch cities cars either need to drive quite slow or are rerouted on a ring outside the city. Also, there is quite a lot of wind which is unsurprising but always annoying.

Lyon, France

Overall: if you do not mind having to go up and down a bit with probably a bit of effort it is a nice city to bike through, especially if you want to see its different parts.

Pro: a public bike system! I think the shame in the Netherlands is that you need at least a personal public transport card to make use of our ‘ public’ bike system, OV-fiets. Anyway, it was quite nice to bike in Lyon (also because we could rent bikes 3 days for 5 euros and of course (a)bused that as much as possible) although the public bikes vary a bit in quality.

The city is quite sprawling so rather then waiting for public transport and then having to go through 5 stops to get to your destination, biking feels a lot more efficient. There are also some areas, like the Parc de la Tête d’Or and Parc Gerland that are nice to bike through. Also along the Rhône and Saône there is plenty of biking space and you could even go all the way to Genève.

Con: some of the bikes creak a lot, which is a bit annoying. The old city center also has a lot of cobble stones so it is probably not very nice to bike either. And going downhill I had a few moments where I was afraid any pebble on the road could send me flying off the bike with a pretty bad landing. There are also quite some roads which could use some maintenance.