A Taste of News: How women fight

As many in my direct circle know, I read quite some news. I try to mention at least once per day that I read something in the news, casually, in a conversation. And since commentary and reviewing is something else I like to do, I thought of starting a series where I write my thoughts about an article I read. A lot of them will be related to China, since that is one of the topics I follow most closely.

Young Chinese Women Are Defying the Communist Party
New York Times

When I saw this article passing by, the name sounded familiar to me. A quick search turned out that I reviewed one of her books which I found enjoyable, but also slightly simplifying key things.

I have this feeling from time to time when reading, hearing or viewing things that it cannot be as easy as it sounds. That is not to be a buzzkill or a cynic, although I enjoy playing both these roles at select times, sometimes there is a bigger story to tell.

That is not to say that I totally disagree with the writer. It is moreso that the things I pointed out in a previous blog arenot as easily conquered. It is precisely because Chinese women, or almost all women for that matter, are not that pliable and obedient to immediately act according to the party line.

That birth rates keep on declining just as the number of marriages, certainly show the increased independence of Chinese women. At the same time are many barriers still up and new ones being created.

It is always heartening to read about fighting spirits, how people defy expectations. Actively row against the stream. At the same time, it is the exceptionalism of these stories that make it difficult to have faith in the future.

But that is probably what the Communist Party and most authoritarian regimes count on. It would be nice for things just to be a bit simpler sometimes.

An elegy for the elections

Dear readers,

Thank you for gathering here today. We have assembled to commemorize the latest elections. It was truly peak democracy, even though we close this chapter with sadness in our hearts.

Although the past 3 weeks went by fast, nothing could have prepared us, in our bubble, for this outcome. There were plenty of reminders throughout the weeks. Predictions, positive outcomes, negative outcomes, debates about things that seemed to matter a lot at one point and less at another.

You were elusive. Seemed unpredictable and stubbornly common. Who would lead and who would follow. Surely, many households, friend groups and colleagues carried out discussions at dinner and lunch tables. You were the talk of the town, probably not because people were looking forward to you but more so to have it over with.

And then you came. I remember the grey sky that morning. My reluctance at having to make a choice. The fleeting feeling of thinking I could make a difference. And in some small way we all did of course.

But then came the ashtonishment. The all too familiar feeling of being confronted with your own limits. Disbelief at the situation. Scrolling on social media for people who felt the same, expressed in funny memes to soften the message. Worrying about possible implications of the whole situation.

Shall I move sooner than I was planning? Does moving even help? Is it a serious solution to consider? I am not sure what makes sense now or in the future.

I firmly believe in representation. But if the representation feels agressively targeted to groups that I belong to, it makes things difficult. The election had to happen, but the result should not have happened. Hopefully everyone has some peace, we will need it in the coming years.

A Taste of News: Panda diplomacy ‘panda-monium’

Panda Diplomacy Might Not Be Dead Just Yet
New York Times

While working at the embassy a couple of years ago, the Netherlands had the great luck to be receiving the first pandas ever from the Chinese government. Now I do not have a lot of love for zoos, and I also do not have a lot of love for pandas.

I find it somewhat baffling that China took the panda, an animal that eats bamboo because it is too lazy to hunt, as its national animal. I also remember seeing pandas 15 years ago and the small ones had some attractiveness because they also move around a lot and seem like regular cubs being cute while doing dumb stuff. However, the adult pandas really reminded me of the adult couch potato. Especially since they just collected the bamboo remains on their chest.

A quick Google search on why the panda is China’s national animal turns up something about it being a symbol for peace and friendship, perhaps because they also have dificulty mating, and the black and white representing Yin and Yang. This sounds like something a consultancy company would write, and there is possibly some truth to it, but it also sounds quite questionable.

So the fact that this animal is not only beloved in and outside of China but also useful for actual diplomacy amazes me. I remember being sceptical when the Dutch pandas were arriving in this newly built enclosure, that also won a prize for being the most beautiful animal enclosure even if it mainly resembled a Chinese temple, and supposed to bring in all this new business. And a while later I read an article vindicating my suspicion that the Dutch are not brought to the east of our country that easily, although the zoo director still defended his decision to bring the pandas to the Netherlands.

Besides the fact that pandas need highly expert care, the other thing that surprises me does not scare people away, is that they are leased. Cubs and the pandas are to return to China, as the article mentions is happening to the US pandas. I guess in one way or the other, pandas are a bigger attraction on that side of the world, maybe because they are more connected to larger wildlife or simply because there are more people for the amount of pandas available.

I think it shows how effective some aspects of Chinese politics are at blending official and informal matters. How suddenly the Chinese Communist Party can influence your enjoyment of your zoo visit.

A Taste of News: China’s singles society

Is China Drifting Toward a ‘Singles Society’?
Sixth Tone

With single’s Day coming up (because why not more consumerism 2 weeks before black Friday?), it seems more than appropriate to focus on Chinese singles today. This article hits some familiar points. The disparity between highly educated urban women and lower education rural men. The importance of marriage that permeates Chinese and many Asian societies. The difficulties that singles face regarding costs of living and income vulnerabilities.

Something different that it touches upon, is the disparity of views on singlehood between the singles and society at large. Additionally, it makes a difference between ‘choosing to be single’ and ‘drifting into singlehood’.

This first point is something I experienced when I still lived in China. I thought I had written on this before, but a few scrolls down do not reveal anything. But moving to China at 25 and leaving again at 29 revealed clear differences in perception of the age brackets. At the most extreme, it went from all is well to all is hell. From you will for sure find someone to you cannot find someone anymore. From your mind will change to your parents will be devastated. And this attitude for sure has its origins in the fact that marriage is not only socially acceptable and encouraged, it actually provides a clear path to a better life for you and your future offspring.

The second point is something I have been wondering about myself in the almost 10 years I was single. There is for sure a large grey area between these 2 states and most definitely some changing back and forth. I definitely drifted into singlehood initially, my previous breakup costing a lot of time and effort to heal from. After some half-hearted efforts at dating, I more consciously made the choice to stay single when I moved abroad. As the years passed by, the ‘happy single’ image seemed to fit better and better. It was almost movielike how surprised people were, including myself, when I got into a relationship.

I think it is this fluidity of just happening to be single, actively embracing it, and then dating again that is missing for a lot of Chinese women. The paradox is always that you should find a partner, but cannot be too overt about the process. Ideally, there is no process for you to go through, you just meet the person or are introduced to them.

When we are expected to adhere to these invisible rules, it limits not only individuals, but society as a whole. With the emphasis of the Communist Party leadership on women fulfilling certain roles, I unfortunately do not expect this to become more flexible anytime soon.

A Taste of News: 1.000 trees in Shanghai

Dezeen Awards China 2023 Shortlist: 1.000 Trees Phase 1 by Thomas Heatherwick
Dezeen

Seeing this building pass by in an awards list definitely piqued my interest. I have seen this building mainly as a collection of grey blocks and round platforms. The forms were distinct against the sky and along the river, but they seemed to stand out in the bad way many Chinese buildings will stand out. By being special but also quite ugly.

As it was on the shortlist for a new architecture award from a well-known platform, it made me look up which judges are involved. A quick scroll shows what seems to be a relatively well-balanced team of Chinese and British architects and designers. But I always have a nagging feeling that often buildings for these kinds of awards get chosen more on looks than practical use.

At the same time, somewhere a memory got triggered that I read something about a list of ugliest Chinese buildings and this one being among the top. A quick search proved me right, it was the top pick for 2021. Having read some articles by Thomas Heatherwick als made me doubtful of the attitude its founder has, and reading the quote of the Ugliest Buildings competition judges only reinforces this:

They felt it “lacked a basic understanding of Chinese culture and did not bother engaging in extensive, in-depth emotional communication with the public in advance.” Although it is written in a fuzzy way, I do agree that the building is mainly meant to be eye-catching and does not reflect or reinvent any Chinese aspects in an interesting way. With a bit of luck I will be in Shanghai next year and able to judge it with my own eyes.

A Taste of News: Chinese female roles

China’s Male Leaders Signal to Women That Their Place Is in the Home
New York Times

Being a Chinese woman has never seemed easy to me. When I lived in China, I got a taste of it in some situations and it does feel like the attitude switches between extremes and also clear age shifts.

Reading that there is more emphasis from senior Chinese leadership on women’s roles in the family seems to me similar to the movement of the ‘tradwives’. It feels in many places there is a wish for stable, clear roles that make you feel like life is a little less complicated. At the same time, the Chinese characteristics are clear in that there is a distinct top-down dynamic. Of course leadership is in the front seat when they want to ensure that everyone aims for the right direction.

At the same time, I think it is often overblown how much the leadership influences these kinds of developments. We see that Chinese women have become more and more independent, even subverting expectations about birth preference in some cases.

And even though it may seem the party is actively steering people, it is definitely not a one-on-one influence. Sure, I also got questions if my parents were not apalled at the fact that I do not want children, and I got my fair share of comments that I should not be single in my late twenties. At the same time, Chinese people are resourceful and practical. If you are an intelligent and capable woman, you will generally have opportunities to capitalize on that. So it will be interesting to see if this government stance will develop into something more tangible like an actual campaign or if it just remains a message for the general public to hear.

A Taste of News: Halloween in China

Because one can never have too many categories that only have 1 post, I am starting something new to see if it helps me to start writing more regularly again.

Shanghai’s Halloween Party, a Rare Chance for Chinese to Vent in Style
New York Times

Halloween is one of my least favorite holidays. I did not celebrate it when I was younger and at my current age I have a feeling it is more related to commerce (what is not these days?) than any actual celebrations. The whole ringing door bells and asking for candy thing is related to Saint Martin for me and then you get to hold a lantern and sing a song, so that seems vastly superior to me.

What struck me from the article is the spot where all the Chinese partygoers were photographed. Whenever I see a photo of Shanghai or Beijing, I cannot help but try to figure out where it was taken. Especially the big overpass rings a bell, somewhere in the back of my brain. Some of the other photos are probably taken around Xuhui Road?

Secondly, I identify heavily with all of the non-dressed people in the background who are either frozen in an awkward position or looking on their phone. This is how I would feature on one of these photos. This is how I would celebrate Halloween.

Thirdly, I am surprised that any politically tinted costumes were found. I would say this is a slightly Western bias to look for these kinds of themes, but I do find it nice to see the Chinese are being as creative as ever within their limits. The cucumber is going to give me nightmares though.

How to behave really awkward at an event

If getting out of your comfort zone is part of your (Lunar) New Year’s resolutions, then you only need to follow this guide. You can only enjoy the good times more, if sometimes you have a swift experience of pure, unadulterated awkwardness. Let me show you how.

You let yourself easily be convinced to attend a certain event. Even better if it is paid so you will not want to skip on it. Even better if it is on a topic you like, but you know there is a readon you normally do not attend these things. The community aspect is not what attracts you, but you can always try right?
Follow the build-up to the eventintensely so you can imagine how you will be liking it once it happens. Realise this is not your thing but the pain of your hard-earned money just wasted hurts even more. Try to stay optimistic, you often have situations where low expectations generate the best results.
Make sure you are pretty tired and/or have any other physical inconveniences that are not bad enough to deter you from attending. A runny nose, or some muscle ache always helps. Perhaps the weather helps and it is cold or wet outside so it makes you not want to go nor leave.
Hang out with some nice people on forehand. Ideally get invited to a hangout session by your friends or some confirmed nice people but decline it for the unknown, quite reliably less entertaining option.
Create a moment of introspection by eating alone or grabbing a drink to gather some confidence. Do this near the venue, thinking you could get a sneak peek at the event, but in reality nothing will be visible.
Park your bike in front of the venue and struggle with your bike lock. Wonder if this is a sign you should not go but persist because you are a well-functioning adult.
You enter and exchange a few words but you already see the people at the entrance are busy and know each other. You try to see where the event is happening, but they tell you it is all the way in the back. You buckle up (figuratively) and go for it.
Once in the back you realise literally nobody is known to you. You try to match some people you see to faces you have seen in online posts and photos. The one person who you would recognise is also not seen.
You decide to go the toilet as an escape. But after walking 3 rounds, there is no toilet to be seen. You try to see again if you recognise somebody and walk around again thinking you know someone. It is not the case so you walk back, stand on the side and look at your phone as a substitute.
Walking around you seemed quite confused apparently because somebody approaches and asks you “Are you okay?” It makes your skin crawl a little, but you ask for the toilet and are politely pointed where to go to.
On the toilet you hear voices from people who are going to the same event but have signed up together. You are not sure what you will be doing, but it has only been a few minutes. You inhale, exhale and go out again.
You try to get a free drink, because that is one of the few tangible things you can get out of the event. The bar is busy but also weirdly ignorant of their customers. You commiserate with someone else in the line but his turn comes up earlier than yours and you just wait and get ignored for a while by the staff.
After you finally get your drink, you look around if there are people striking a conversation that clearly shows they do not know each other. You latch onto a person who is semi-interested in what you do, but also do not feel a real connection in the topics you discuss and the conversation as a whole.
The one person you recognise at the event suddenly turns up and you exchange a few words. The person you were talking with leaves, but also your new conversation partner is hauled away to take a photo. You decide to get your second drink to make sure that is at least ticked off. You are being ignored again and it seems people behind you are whispering about how long you had to wait.
Checking the program for the fifth time, you see the performance should already have taken place, but decide to wait it out just to get a good idea of how uncomfortable it is to not have someone to talk to. You think it is quite a funny paradox how this is a community event, but you feel like such an outsider especially with so many similar people around you.
You get your phone out again and someone points out you dropped something. you try to make this a conversation starter but fail. You try to listen in on some other conversations, but cannot really follow anything and just try to read something on your phone
People are clearly starting to prepare the room for the performance and you help with moving chairs to have something to do.
The performance finally takes place and it is cute but also a little bit lackluster. You decide it has been long enough that you can go to the toilet again. You spend some time there and then decide it is fine for you to go. You slip past the entrance people and deeply inhale and exhale once you are outside.
You struggle with your bike lock again and fear you may not be able to get home quickly. But fate is friendly after this evening and lets you go.
While reflecting on the event, you decide to write something about the whole thing so it was not entirely useless. You have faith if any event happens again it will be better since you should know some people by then. And you try to convince yourself of the value this experience brought to you.

It may seem like a daunting list of things to do, but the end result is guaranteed. Happy New Year everyone!

I am great at eating and average at the rest

This weekend was apparently the first Advent. The first day of Advent? Adventing? I am not sure, but something related to that most beloved holiday of Christmas was already happening.

And apparently the activity to celebrate it properly, was baking. Cookies specifically. Now I normally do not really bake. There is 1 cheesecake recipe that is quick, convenient and easy to make. I will occasionally help out others, but I do not voluntarily bake.

I do not know exactly what about baking does not interest me a lot. I think it is the fact that you are not making a whole meal. Baking can take just as long as cooking, but then you have a cake. A whole cake. Which you then probably need to share. Sure, sharing is caring but at the same time, why? I can also just make food for myself. Let alone the fact that I feel it is even sadder if you spent hours working on baking something and it turns out average. Or worse, bad.

Also, thinking about baking I feel that there is in a certain sense less baking in the traditional Chinese kitchen. There are lots of sweets like mochi, buns, cookies, but I would not make them myself. I would buy them, a lot of people would. Because many homes did not have an oven, and also some of these sweets are very intricate and complicated. I would rather spend time queuing for that than making it myself and having sub-par taste.

But of course, my grumpiness can be mitigated with good company and easy tasks. Shaping the cookies and eating the raw dough bring me joy. I am not immune to the excitement that you can get by intently looking at the oven window, although currently my oven is placed so high I barely see anything that is in there, nor to the thrill of tasting a cookie. And not that much can go wrong in the end. So I will not bke voluntarily, but I will definitely help voluntarily.

Suddenly it is okay to be cliché

The holidays are the peak of cheesyness. Once Christmas comes around, things you normally do not want to be near to suddenly seem charming and cosy. This light veneer covers the few weeks around Christmas and the few days afterwards feel weirdly bleak. New Year’s does not have the same cosyness and atmosphere attached to it. Rather, we are all reminded of goals that are more or less realistic we will hold ourselves to. 1 January holds a strange place in our hearts, a date to start something new but at the same time nothing really changes.

So let us think back once more to those magical days filled with things we only accept around Christmas. An incomplete list:

Stars on trees. Or generally ornaments in trees. Tacky Christmas balls, shiny tinsel, fake snow, anything that is bad for the environment.
Christmas stables. Real ones, wooden ones, silhouettes, dolls, even with actual people and animals (though no real baby please).
Sleighs, especially the big ones with one or two horses in front. The fact that I have never ridden one probably does not help.
Sleighbells. To be honest, after hearing Christmas music for multiple weeks my tolerance is almost at its end, but it remains thoroughly charming for much longer than it should.
Church. I get this weird nostalgia for attending mass, in a beautiful church with this friendly priest and all these kind and warm people. Not that I have not been disappointed enough times in real life.
A big piece of meat as the centerpiece. In this time of promoted sustainability and less dependence on meat, somehow we have not evolved enough yet to get a Christmassy feeling without a bizarre amount of meat on the table.
Traditional Christmas clothes. Whether it is a hat, an (ugly) sweater or the Santa Claus outfit. It all seems perfectly reasonable to wear these few days a year.
Eating crazy amounts of (unhealthy) food. Normally I get side-eyed by most people around me when they see how much I (want to) consume, but not around the holidays. We all get to share in the fun.
Asking for gifts in huge quantities. Christmas is a maximalist dream. Catalogues are being scrutinized to ensure no potential gift is left off any list.
Lights. There is an inordinate amount of light everywhere around Christmas. Inside the house, outside the house, in the street, in the store. It will be quite impossible to find any darkness for a few weeks.