Film rewriting: Maboroshi

Mari Okada can pull some heartstrings. The last film I watched of hers (Maquia: When the Promised Flower blooms) is a feast for the eyes and had me bawling them out half of the time. I think its sadness is up there with Grave of the Fireflies and that episode of Violet Evergarden. Regardless, she tends to have an interesting and quite unique way of viewing things and putting it together so I was quite excited to watch this one of hers.

The synopsis of the film on imdb is:

“Following an explosion at a factory that mysteriously freezes a town in time, two students encounter a mysterious feral child, spurring an impulse of love fueled by the frustration of their daily lives that begins to upend their world.”

I also read another review that was quite positive about it, and although I like the concept and ideas, parts of the execution fell flat for me. I think the despair and dread of being frozen in a particular moment and how different people react to it is depicted well. I also think she shows interesting choices some characters make to change the present based on how they think there will or will not be an ‘actual’ future to look forward to. And upping the stakes by creating a way for characters to disappear is always a surefire way to create some intense moments. But there are some other things I think could have been left out or executed differently.

I feel the orignal mystery about the factory causing the town to freeze in time could be explored further. As it stands now, this is just a fact and everyone accepts it, although clearly some characters have more whacky ideas about why it happened than others. Besides discovering the ‘feral child’ at the factory, the characters do not spend a lot of time uncovering anything about the explosion, where the smoke comes from, why it happened to them. Even if this was just a fully random thing happening to them, that would be interesting to explore and see if it throws some characters further into despair. As it is, the visuals are very striking but I am left wanting more information.
The romance seems to not get enough room to be fully fleshed out. It is a very interesting concept to know that somewhere else you are leading your own future life but you will never get to experience it in your own reality. However, I felt the connection between the two main characters was disturbed in an unfulfilling manner because they get shoehorned in a weird love triangle. One that also has a bit too much of an incestual tone for my taste.
We do not see a lot of the side characters except for short bursts that show pivotal moments but because they are not shown in many other situations, it is not as meaningful as it could have been. If we would see more glimpses of these characters’ past, hopes and dreams then it would hit a lot harder to see some of the arbitrary decisions being made or sympathize more with their feelings

All in all, the film did hit quite some spots but it was not as gut-wrenching as I expected it to be. The concepts and perspectives that were shown are still quite powerful, but the execution left a bit to be desired.

Film rewriting: The Boy and the Heron

Ghibli films are among my favorites. I think that tends to be quite the favorable opinion, but I remember when I watched Spirited Away at 16 being utterly amazed at the perfect combination of story, folklore, visuals and atmosphere. And finding out afterwards that this was not just contained in a single film, but ranged further across their productions was marvelous. It was like all of my enthusiasm that I never really had for the Disney classics (I refused watching Lion King more than once since I found it too scarring) suddenly came out at a belated moment for the Ghibli universe.

With animation being less and less put in the children’s corner, it seems that almost everyone was excited for this new Ghibli release by master Hayao Miyazaki. Hardly any news emerged before its actual realization although it seemed to combine many familiar elements often founded in Ghibli and Miyazaki films. A headstrong main character that is slightly egocentric but earnest, peculiar magical creatures that seem to be as helpful as they are antagonistic, competent and capable side characters that teach the main character important lessons. And most importantly, beautiful visuals and fantastical landscapes.

On imdb the synopsis of the film is:

“A young boy named Mahito yearning for his mother ventures into a world shared by the living and the dead. There, death comes to an end, and life finds a new beginning.”

I was quite excited to go into the film since it should be a wonderful time. But I came out of the theater feeling a little bit empty. It was not entirely up to the standards that I felt they set before. Especially for a Miyazaki. And of course all the reviews I scrolled pas were jubilant about the film. I did still really enjoy it, but I also saw some missed opportunities.

I found the family dynamic somewhat lacking. Although I think all characters were well-defined in their own rights, I feel there was not enough attention paid to them through the main arc. The father starts as a very direct personality who is very jovial but also slightly manipulative. I thought there would be a moment where he realized how his behavior influences his son, especially at such a vulnerable moment after losing his mother and moving to a new place, but it seems like he is not going through any kind of realization even when his son and second wife fully disappear.

Mahito’s ‘new’ mother also does not really have any development to her story. Although she is in a way the catalyst for everything that happens, she is oddly passive in the whole process and does not seem to have changed at any moment. When we first see her, she is very actively trying to show Mahito, the main guy, that she will be a good mother to him. Her depression is also not unimaginable since she is pregnant and turns out to not be able to prevent Mahito from getting hurt. But after he finds her in the dream world, there does not seem to be a clear reason for her to suddenly want to return.

Lastly, the main character Mahito’s conflict is also not resolved very satisfyingly. His reasoning is not made very clear, why does he suddenly think of his father’s new wife as his mother? Why does meeting his mother in the dream world not shake him more or implore him to further explore his relationship with her? How does he decide to make connections with his environment and what influence does moving away again at the end have on his mental well-being? There are just a lot of aspects that go a little bit too unexplored for my taste.
Why do the important side characters not get further fleshed out? There are a few important side characters that all suddenly appear and then disappear again. First, there is of course the Heron. The visual is very striking, especially at the beginning where the man in the costume is not fully revealing himself yet. But it remained unclear to me exactly what role he played and what his motivations were. He seems to be in the service of the tower master, but at the same time he makes his own decisions throughout the film. He is a magical creature, but does not lose his magic in the real world. He accompanies Mahito on part of the way, but it seems unclear why he is not there for the full way.

Then there is Etsuko, the old maiden whose younger self Mahito meets in the dream world. She is such an interesting character that seems very underused. At the beginning, the maidens are not very explicitly introduced which is not that problematic, but would have given them some more weight instead of just seeming comic relief. Etsuko does get some extra screentime to showcase her warm grumpiness and bartering personality. In the dream world she is a strong and independent woman, taking care of others, but she does not really seem to teach Mahito any lessons, except for letting him do some harder labor. It would have been nice to also see some more interactions between Etsuko and the other creatures or Himi who she seems to revere. It is fine to not know her full backstory, but her actions do not show us much beyond her capabilities and generally there tends to be more of an emotional aspect to interactions with these characters.

Himi also seems surprisingly twodimensional as Mahito’s younger mother. It is especially a missed opportunity to not have her reminisce about her younger sister, Mahito’s new mother, with her suddenly being in the world and what it means. When she sends Mahito off to actually meet his new mother in the world, her saying she cannot go in seems more than a copout than an actual inability. And even if she seems to know the future and says she does not mind dying because she will be so happy with Mahito, there is not a lot of showing of this love she has for him. Her role as a bargaining chip also feels a bit flat since this conflict is not very well fleshed out.

The tower master is a confusing figure since he seems to be a typical antagonistic character, but then remains invisible for most of the film. Judging by the fact that he is in a sense at the core of everything, I would have expected to see more of his behavior, musing about the tower and power, plotting more to get Mahito to certain places or do specific things. His quest for a heir seems to come out of nowhere, as does his fight with another group of creatures. His whole purpose and background is just very vague, which makes it difficult to feel anything but confusion when he is on the screen.
Although it is beautifully rendered, the dream world made me very confused. I get the idea that it is supposed to be an in-between realm merging the living and the dead, but there are basically no rules set at all which makes it difficult to get a grasp on things. New creatures with their own motivations and settings appear all the time, but they seem to be separate vignettes instead of forming a coherent backdrop for the story. Since the storyline is also not very linear, this makes it seem gamelike in a certain way where you are just shown a different world and discussing it, all the while wondering how you will accomplish your quest.

Although there are a lot of points mentioned above that I found unsatisfying, that is not to say I did not like it. Ghibli is still one of the best if it is about immersion. The characters, even if they may fall flat sometimes, still captivate your attention and I did not feel a second of boredom. However, I came out feeling more confused than expected and surprised that my expectations were not fully met. And that is just a shame, but I will still be looking forward to the next Ghibli film, and otherwise there is enough in their backcatalog to not make me complain.

An elegy for the elections

Dear readers,

Thank you for gathering here today. We have assembled to commemorize the latest elections. It was truly peak democracy, even though we close this chapter with sadness in our hearts.

Although the past 3 weeks went by fast, nothing could have prepared us, in our bubble, for this outcome. There were plenty of reminders throughout the weeks. Predictions, positive outcomes, negative outcomes, debates about things that seemed to matter a lot at one point and less at another.

You were elusive. Seemed unpredictable and stubbornly common. Who would lead and who would follow. Surely, many households, friend groups and colleagues carried out discussions at dinner and lunch tables. You were the talk of the town, probably not because people were looking forward to you but more so to have it over with.

And then you came. I remember the grey sky that morning. My reluctance at having to make a choice. The fleeting feeling of thinking I could make a difference. And in some small way we all did of course.

But then came the ashtonishment. The all too familiar feeling of being confronted with your own limits. Disbelief at the situation. Scrolling on social media for people who felt the same, expressed in funny memes to soften the message. Worrying about possible implications of the whole situation.

Shall I move sooner than I was planning? Does moving even help? Is it a serious solution to consider? I am not sure what makes sense now or in the future.

I firmly believe in representation. But if the representation feels agressively targeted to groups that I belong to, it makes things difficult. The election had to happen, but the result should not have happened. Hopefully everyone has some peace, we will need it in the coming years.

How to behave really awkward at an event

If getting out of your comfort zone is part of your (Lunar) New Year’s resolutions, then you only need to follow this guide. You can only enjoy the good times more, if sometimes you have a swift experience of pure, unadulterated awkwardness. Let me show you how.

You let yourself easily be convinced to attend a certain event. Even better if it is paid so you will not want to skip on it. Even better if it is on a topic you like, but you know there is a readon you normally do not attend these things. The community aspect is not what attracts you, but you can always try right?
Follow the build-up to the eventintensely so you can imagine how you will be liking it once it happens. Realise this is not your thing but the pain of your hard-earned money just wasted hurts even more. Try to stay optimistic, you often have situations where low expectations generate the best results.
Make sure you are pretty tired and/or have any other physical inconveniences that are not bad enough to deter you from attending. A runny nose, or some muscle ache always helps. Perhaps the weather helps and it is cold or wet outside so it makes you not want to go nor leave.
Hang out with some nice people on forehand. Ideally get invited to a hangout session by your friends or some confirmed nice people but decline it for the unknown, quite reliably less entertaining option.
Create a moment of introspection by eating alone or grabbing a drink to gather some confidence. Do this near the venue, thinking you could get a sneak peek at the event, but in reality nothing will be visible.
Park your bike in front of the venue and struggle with your bike lock. Wonder if this is a sign you should not go but persist because you are a well-functioning adult.
You enter and exchange a few words but you already see the people at the entrance are busy and know each other. You try to see where the event is happening, but they tell you it is all the way in the back. You buckle up (figuratively) and go for it.
Once in the back you realise literally nobody is known to you. You try to match some people you see to faces you have seen in online posts and photos. The one person who you would recognise is also not seen.
You decide to go the toilet as an escape. But after walking 3 rounds, there is no toilet to be seen. You try to see again if you recognise somebody and walk around again thinking you know someone. It is not the case so you walk back, stand on the side and look at your phone as a substitute.
Walking around you seemed quite confused apparently because somebody approaches and asks you “Are you okay?” It makes your skin crawl a little, but you ask for the toilet and are politely pointed where to go to.
On the toilet you hear voices from people who are going to the same event but have signed up together. You are not sure what you will be doing, but it has only been a few minutes. You inhale, exhale and go out again.
You try to get a free drink, because that is one of the few tangible things you can get out of the event. The bar is busy but also weirdly ignorant of their customers. You commiserate with someone else in the line but his turn comes up earlier than yours and you just wait and get ignored for a while by the staff.
After you finally get your drink, you look around if there are people striking a conversation that clearly shows they do not know each other. You latch onto a person who is semi-interested in what you do, but also do not feel a real connection in the topics you discuss and the conversation as a whole.
The one person you recognise at the event suddenly turns up and you exchange a few words. The person you were talking with leaves, but also your new conversation partner is hauled away to take a photo. You decide to get your second drink to make sure that is at least ticked off. You are being ignored again and it seems people behind you are whispering about how long you had to wait.
Checking the program for the fifth time, you see the performance should already have taken place, but decide to wait it out just to get a good idea of how uncomfortable it is to not have someone to talk to. You think it is quite a funny paradox how this is a community event, but you feel like such an outsider especially with so many similar people around you.
You get your phone out again and someone points out you dropped something. you try to make this a conversation starter but fail. You try to listen in on some other conversations, but cannot really follow anything and just try to read something on your phone
People are clearly starting to prepare the room for the performance and you help with moving chairs to have something to do.
The performance finally takes place and it is cute but also a little bit lackluster. You decide it has been long enough that you can go to the toilet again. You spend some time there and then decide it is fine for you to go. You slip past the entrance people and deeply inhale and exhale once you are outside.
You struggle with your bike lock again and fear you may not be able to get home quickly. But fate is friendly after this evening and lets you go.
While reflecting on the event, you decide to write something about the whole thing so it was not entirely useless. You have faith if any event happens again it will be better since you should know some people by then. And you try to convince yourself of the value this experience brought to you.

It may seem like a daunting list of things to do, but the end result is guaranteed. Happy New Year everyone!

I am great at eating and average at the rest

This weekend was apparently the first Advent. The first day of Advent? Adventing? I am not sure, but something related to that most beloved holiday of Christmas was already happening.

And apparently the activity to celebrate it properly, was baking. Cookies specifically. Now I normally do not really bake. There is 1 cheesecake recipe that is quick, convenient and easy to make. I will occasionally help out others, but I do not voluntarily bake.

I do not know exactly what about baking does not interest me a lot. I think it is the fact that you are not making a whole meal. Baking can take just as long as cooking, but then you have a cake. A whole cake. Which you then probably need to share. Sure, sharing is caring but at the same time, why? I can also just make food for myself. Let alone the fact that I feel it is even sadder if you spent hours working on baking something and it turns out average. Or worse, bad.

Also, thinking about baking I feel that there is in a certain sense less baking in the traditional Chinese kitchen. There are lots of sweets like mochi, buns, cookies, but I would not make them myself. I would buy them, a lot of people would. Because many homes did not have an oven, and also some of these sweets are very intricate and complicated. I would rather spend time queuing for that than making it myself and having sub-par taste.

But of course, my grumpiness can be mitigated with good company and easy tasks. Shaping the cookies and eating the raw dough bring me joy. I am not immune to the excitement that you can get by intently looking at the oven window, although currently my oven is placed so high I barely see anything that is in there, nor to the thrill of tasting a cookie. And not that much can go wrong in the end. So I will not bke voluntarily, but I will definitely help voluntarily.

Chronicling my Saint Nicholas experience because I can pt. 2

How to replace one kind of fun with a different one, but then it keeps on changing.

Young adulthood Saint Nicholas – Now you need to actually put in some effort yourself

The good:

Finally you take the reins. Saint Nicholas is something you not only celebrate with family anymore but your friends get involved. You get double the fun and may actually start to recreate some of the excitement. Of course part of the fun is getting some weird gifts that you do not need. All those times your family did not give you all those useless things, your friends are sure to help you with that. And so long as you do not every year get the excuse “I really had no time to make something better” accompanied by a raffle box, there should definitely be some memorable unpacking moments that will be commented upon for years after.

The bad:

Transitioning into adulthood is just hard, period. There is so much disappointment hiding behind each corner and the same counts for celebrating anything with friends. If you do not have too many people complaining about their inability to write poems, then you may be limited by your own crafting skills. If it is not your own crafting skills, there are bound to be some others who just do not prioritize this highlight of the year. And finally, life tends to get in the way of these celebrations and you may need to start planning 3 months on forehand, only to have to then cancel it a week on forehand because nobody has the time or energy for it.

Saint Nicholas abroad – A lesson in Dutch culture

The good:

This is the moment for Dutch culture to shine! Forget about the fact that we do not really have any food culture or a national dance. You finally get to tell about this very peculiar and special Dutch tradition. It is all good fun and you get to show others something completely new. Experiencing familiar things in a completely new situation will most definitely also get you to appreciate everything again. Yes it was loads of fun as a kid and no it is completely different from Santa Claus. The commercialization and merchandise of Saint Nicholas will seem far more benign in your head, especially because Christmas is just decorations in many non-Western countries.

You can have fun finding out if you can make some of the snacks yourself, or where to buy them, or strategically ask someone early enough but not too early to bring or send them. You will appreciate even the most basic of snacks, and may point at every chimney to remind everyone that they missed out on something great. Those poor kids.

The bad:

Foreigners will interpret everything differently. It is the moment that you will take off the rose-tinted glasses and suddenly be presented with knowledge about certain aspects you were ignorant about as a kid. You suddenly realize things are not as natural as they seemed to you. How black does one get by coming through the chimney? Why did we once think it was unproblematic to paint our faces that color and put on these wigs? And why is it always white old men bringing around these gifts and showing off their benevolence? Most importantly, the horse would explode if it ate all of the hay and carrots kids put in their boots.

And once the scales fall from your eyes, it is easy to see how much hubris is left now. There is police regularly for a children’s celebration and families can get split over such a logical development. And once you start comparing your own celebrations with those in other countries, they may seem not seem so magical anymore. Why do we not have moon bunnies that make rice cakes? Or have a selfish trickster in the form of a spider?

Thus, there is nothing like a new perspective to make you realize traditions just do not make sense. And that even though they change, it only makes it more difficult to explain to others. But that is part of the process and keeping it alive.

So is real adulthood going to ruin this even more? Probably yes. Maybe not.

Chronicling my Saint Nicholas experience because I can pt. 1

One of the few celebrations that is very special to the Netherlands. It has snacks, songs and of course gifts. But like all things that define your childhood, it changes. In most of my adult life, there has definitely been a place for Saint Nicholas and it still has a reservation. So on this festive day, I wanted to put down some of my thoughts and nostalgia on the whole development. Because that is what your thirties are for.

The Saint Nicholas story in one sentence is: an old white man with a red robe and big book rides on the roofs on horseback with helpers to deliver gifts to all the good kids.

Childhood Saint Nicholas – Like a Christmas movie

The good:

Saint Nicholas felt more exciting than my birthday to be honest. Probably because there is at least 10-14 days of buildup towards it. And that is done by putting your shoe near the chimney, stuffing it with a carrot or hay, singing a song and then receiving a gift. In my never-up-before-9 childhood, this ritual was one of the few things that had me jumping on my parents’ bed.

Another thing I remember fondly is going through huge catalogues and looking at all the toys and stuff I might want. Thinking back that I got excited about furbies and toy dogs, makes me very happy that my parents were smart enough not to give me those things though.

The bad:

I was a firm believer in the existence of this mysterious man, mainly because of his horse. At the same time, I never liked the guys that dressed up like Saint Nicholas, especially if they did not wore a red robe or were on horseback. My parents also made the smart decision to skip the dress up part, so I did not suddenly recognize my dad’s or neighbor’s slippers.

There were always Saint Nicholas welcome parades and an actual news channel that starts about 3 weeks before the celebrations. I had zero interest in any of this, even though I accepted the tv Saint Nicholas as the REAL one. I always found it difficult to immerse myself in programs where real people played an, in my eyes then, fantastical role.

And although there are many good snacks for Saint Nicholas, I remember always getting the most basic ones at school. You had these disgustingly sweet chocolate mice and frogs, which apparently have always been factory produced. Then there were the peppernuts, which you can now get in at least 20 flavors, but was not as versatile then. Let me just say it, the basic ones are not all that good. Lastly, it was the so-called taaitaai which is actually tough twice in Dutch and describes the snack perfectly. It is tough, not all that sweet and tastes like something very calvinist, very simple and devoid of enjoyment.

Tween Saint Nicholas – A lesson in growing up

The good:

Many people have a certain moment of epiphany when they realized Saint Nicholas was not real. Some may even feel betrayed by parents and family to have been told this lie for years. That was not the case for me. I cannot really remember when I knew Saint Nicholas did not exist, but I do remember everyone else getting very persistent on this, especially from 10 onwards. Those who were believers got ridiculed for getting pulled the wool over their eyes, and not believing was something the cool kids did. And I did not understand this mentality. At all. So what I remember very clearly, is talking with my mom about this and telling her I just liked the idea. Why was the whole focus on immediately throwing out the whole idea and tradition? Just because it is not true, does not mean you cannot enjoy something right? She agreed and told me we could decide in our own family that Saint Nicholas exists and we ‘believe’ in him. And a few years later, in 2007 All is Love came out which voiced this exact idea in its intro. I never felt so validated.

You can finally buy all of the good snacks, or let your parents buy them.

The bad:

Just like with other celebrations that get less special as you age, Saint Nicholas loses a lot of its magic. It is not that it gets a lot less fun, just that it pales in comparison to what you used to feel. Even though you can still do everything, the excitement is gone. It does not come back, and that is something good to start learning early.

So what is Saint Nicholas like as a real adult? As you move abroad? As society changes? More to follow soon!

The friend circle: Olympics & book

In WeChat there is this nifty feature called ‘friend circle’, which is basically akin to a Facebook timeline. Since I am not in China anymore, I do not actively follow most of what is happening in the friend circle anymore. To motivate myself to check it out a bit more often, I will list some random things I saw while scrolling down. It is also a nice way to keep a bit of a pulse on what is happening in China, of course subjectively.

Olympics

I am very uninterested in watching most sports. I am very interested in doing some sports, but the Olympics that are currently happening, do not really interest me at all. However, I saw quite some posts in my friend circle about this Japanese gymnast. Apparently he made a grave error, but still got high points regardless. And people are now critiquing the judge, the gymnast and the Olympics as unfair, partial and shameless. To be honest, I really cannot understand all the fuss being made about these things. And it is very easy to just write on Twitter “THE JUDGES NEED TO GET THEIR EYES CHECKED” if you can do that from the comfort of your home, while probably sitting down. Things the sporters are not doing.

The most interesting things about sports, is the similar reactions you see by almost everyone. The comments, about the judge’s eyes, or the sporter being a failure, or the sarcasm that he got his points is uniform. Sports really unite. But in a most ugly way.

Book

A book that one of my contacts bought, popped up that seemed interesting. The title is Seeking A Little Upward Mobility Amidst A Frenetic Life. In English, the title sounds like every other self-help book which is probably correct since the blurb says: “[This] is a spiritual book by a famous author. Listen to famous authors talk about how they read, how to keep their inner peace. How to learn to be silent, and how to cherish time. Life is too chaotic, but that doesn’t stop us from getting ahead.”

I have a sort of innate dislike of self-help books. On the other hand, I always try to motivate myself to read more. Especially in Chinese. I can read Chinese quite well, but it goes very slow. Kind of like French, where I can understand pretty much everything but prefer to look up at least 1 word per page just to make sure. And that transition to the dictionary does not go very smooth unfortunately. The story does not continue there. So a Chinese book always serves as a welcome reminder, that I would like to not spend a whopping 7 years on finishing another Chinese book, but that if I would still do should better start now.

What to add to your tea: a rant

Anybody who knows me, knows I am crazy about bubble tea. It is something I developed relatively late, but got very passionate about quite quickly. And I am rubbing it in everyone’s face that I was smart to drink all that bubble tea while in China, because we do not really have it here in the Netherlands. Let me correct that: we do not really have it where I live. Let me further correct that: they do not really have it how I want it.

To be honest, as long as there is variety, I am a very easy person. Probably counts for most people. I only ask, for some pudding. We eat vla here, it is very similar. Heck, they eat flan in France and they literally throw that stuff in your bubble tea at Yi Dian Dian. And I know bubble tea is very trendy now. Especially the cream cheese variations. But it is not the same. In this sense, I am conservative and a purist. Just give me my pudding.

And sure, if you do not have pudding I may go for jelly. The grass jelly and bubbles go quite well together, complementing flavors and textures. I sometimes got very adventurous and would opt for some yakult and coconut jelly. But that is only if I did not feel like milk tea, which honestly would only happen if I got it 4 or 5 times per week to begin with. And at Yi Dian Dian (although Coco has my heart, let that be stated black on white) they had some nice coffee jelly as well, if I wanted a hint of bitter. Sometimes I would combine taro and pudding on cold winter days with warm milk tea for a drink that could actually serve as a dinner (snack), filling you up and keeping you warm at the same time. In summer I would often opt for the smaller bubbles, just to give it a different texture. But with pudding of course.

Although I sometimes strayed, it was mostly out of necessity. If the next Coco is 1 km away and there is a Happy Lemon next door, sure. If I really craved some bubble tea and passed by a Gong Cha, I would not say no. I tried Hey Tea! 2 times, once taking a special bike ride with a colleague to one shop where there wasn’t a crazy line. The other time actually waiting for close to 90 minutes because somebody else was treating me to it. And these lackluster experiences ensured I would never stray for long.

It is almost concerning that I am able to write longer pieces about bubble tea with an ease that does not come with many other topics. But I guess that shows you can really feel passionate about some things. I am eagerly waiting for the day I will be reunited with the few brands I would have points cards for. I used to have a Coco umbrella even! If they are ever opening applications for overseas ambassadors, I need to be first in line.

Summer is not the same this year. I hope it will soon be as I remember it.

Daily tidbits: Not sharing is caring

Today I remembered to finally eat my last orange. Right before I headed out the door for a precious meeting with another human being in real life, I opened my cabinet and put the orange in my sweater’s pouch. Even though I had told it to become orange, there was some green to it, but the texture said ‘eat me before it is too late’ so I brought it.

Oranges are not really my favorite kind of fruit, but I feel they are a bit more reliable in taste than apples. I cannot say how much disappointment I have had whenever buying apples and having a soft, mushy one instead of a crisp bite. I must say I did not have this problem in China, since they had a few kinds of apples that were bound to be crispy, so another thing to miss as I moved.

I tried to see if I could start the peel by using my non-existent nail, which failed as foreseen. So just as I was biting into the orange, my friend arrived. In that split second I thought, “I probably cannot offer him a piece anymore now”. And when we sat down and I was ready to take my first piece, I hesitated for a second before eating the whole thing myself.

Now I grew up in a situation where I was often hungry and not with people who had anything on them (or were even contemplating someone to get hungry). And I am now conditioned to share anything with friends, even if it is just a cookie, since almost all are so kind to do that with me. So I felt like a real, egoistic only child eating this fruit and not having offered the other one a share.

This made me think about the way we share food here and what I was used to doing in China. In China, food is everywhere, at anytime and most importantly widely shared. Sometimes I did not dare look at anything edible, lest I would be confronted with the question: “wanna have some?” Of course, this is a first-world problem, an issue I would love to have in my life again.

But for now, I think the current pandemic gives us a great excuse to not share food (as much) and to be a bit more egoistic. As long as we still care of course.