I can feel my stomach churning. It even burns a little. And an intense frustration flares up, to the extent that I almost audibly shout out “WHY?!”. In capital letters.
Two courses. I’ve finished two courses by now and am almost overwhelmed with a feeling of not knowing most of the things. Whenever I look for a new challenge to practice with, I almost invariably choose to practice the ‘easy’ things. So that I can feel a bit surer of what to do or how to get to the end goal. And at the same time, I should feel happy that there are already things that feel ‘easy’.
Following a masterclass on AI & data a few weeks ago, what struck me most was its emphasis on explicitness. You need to be very precise in talking to computers, nothing can be implied. And if I put my frustration in that context, it’s actually quite similar to how language acquisition works. And I felt the same when learning Russian, where the approach was immersion. Diving head-first into the language and getting the grammar explained along the way. I didn’t study it for very long so I didn’t get very far, but I got used to the method eventually.
I think what I miss the most in this way of learning is a payoff. Because you don’t notice immediately when you’re immersed if you’ve improved or not, you just continue. I have the same with programming. I continue, and feel relief if an answer is correct, but I forget to look back. Only when I notice the really easy ones are not a challenge anymore, do I realize where I’m at. But it also doesn’t feel that fulfilling, since those are clearly the easiest ones that anyone without coding experience could also reason through.
Going through this process makes me think again about my roadblocks when learning. I cannot enjoy learning just for the sake of experiencing something new or different. I need some utilitarian aspect, or the prospect that this new knowledge or skill is going to be put to good use. And maybe that’s why programming is a good challenge as well. Its actual use still seems so far away from where I am right now, that I feel like I don’t have any choice but to enjoy the ride for now. And if nothing else, I’ll try my best to do that at least.
Bitesized Writing 